This Valentine's Day may stir some bitter feelings if your marriage is headed for divorce. But New Jersey couples, or any couple in the midst of a divorce or other family law issue, are cautioned not to let their emotions get in the way of their formal divorce proceedings. Setting emotions aside not only allows for a smoother process, but it could also save time and money.

Forbes reports that the average divorce that involves attorneys and financial advisers can cost between $15,000 and $30,000. However, some divorce experts believe the most important factor for saving money during the divorce process is for both spouses to acknowledge that they must compromise and reach appropriate agreements without letting their emotions hinder their ability to do so.

If the couple is willing to minimize the role that emotions play in the divorce process, they are more likely to save money by preventing lengthy arguments or negotiations while also maintaining their mental health. Several techniques are recommended to encourage civil behavior throughout the process, which will benefit everyone involved.

Experts recommend that couples carefully monitor the language they are using during the divorce. Extreme stories of woe, for example, can be very harmful and prevent individuals from moving forward. The couple's initial attitude is extremely important to set the tone for the entire process. A positive attitude with a respectful tone can make a big difference.

Furthermore, couples need to remember that they are not required to control their emotions, just manage them. It is natural to feel strong emotions during such a significant life event, and couples should take time to acknowledge their feelings. But these emotions do not have to cause arguments or challenges as long as they are recognized and managed. Likewise, it is important to avoid falling apart during the formal proceedings in a courtroom or office; divorce proceedings are business negotiations, and a professional attitude is always appropriate.

Finally, New Jersey couples and other divorcing couples are urged to exclude unsupportive friends and family from conversations about their divorce, instead seeking group help from others who have been through the process. By using these strategies, couples can ensure that their divorce proceedings are civil and less detrimental.

Source: Huffington Post, "Emotions Can Suck Your Wallet Dry in Divorce," Susan Pease Gadoua, Feb. 10, 2012